Psst… wanna buy some good seed?

So… anyone wanna sneak outta here and go pull some weeds?

I used to have a garden as a kid, next to the grown-up garden, and it always seemed so… Americana.  So wholesome.  So old-fashioned goodness.

It was a lie.  Gardens are evil.

This year, I decided I was gonna try it. I wasn’t going to do anything dangerous… you know, no corn or anything hardcore.  Just the recreational stuff.  Tomatoes and maybe some green peppers. Maybe a couple of pumpkins for the kids. They’re perfectly safe. Everyone does it.

I got my hub to turn over the ground, buy some good soil, some peat moss, build a nice little edge around it with some old 4×4’s that were laying around.  I started my tomatoes. Two kinds.  It was fun.

Peppers.  Some cabbages.  Fun, I say! Purely recreational.

Then, I saw it… and I couldn’t resist.  Broccoli.

Yellow squash.  Cucumbers.  Radishes, watermelon, strawberries, three varieties of onions…

I pulled my hand back from the rack at the garden store.  I can stop.  See? I can stop.  I did NOT buy the asparagus or the super jumbo pumpkins the size of Rhode Island.

Three weeks went by, and I didn’t touch the stuff.

Yesterday, I fell off the wagon.  I was in the grocery store, minding my own business, hand-selecting only the  healthiest, freshest produce for my family. Then I saw them.

Seeds… lots and lots of pretty paper packages of seeds. The colors were all so bright and pretty….

Zucchini, carrots, green beans, a five-variety-pack of herbs.  And multicolored peppers… red, yellow, purple, chocolate, white… And pumpkins.

I got the little cooking pumpkins.  Kids can carve a couple, I can make pies…

There’s no use pretending.  I’m caught in the web of evil gardening madness.

Off to turn over another 6×6 section of the back yard…

Fiona…

(who will be hurting in the morning…)

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